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Reading joke books February 17, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 5comments

No, it’s not my hobby.  But Miss Dance has been known to do it.  She decided that she needed to because she does not “get” jokes particularly quickly.

Annnnnyway… it has become pretty clear that there are non-joke things which she also does not get.  (And before I go any further, I ought to explain that I do have her permission to post this and she is a bright girl.  Some lightbulbs just take a while to warm up, ya know?)

The other day, for Valentine’s Day, Dad got Mom a dozen feather roses.  Please don’t tell me that you have forgotten the feather roses.  Unless that is seriously the best comment which you can think of to leave.  *sighs*  They were those roses, from that same store.  (Speaking of not finding jokes funny, the proprietress didn’t seem to find the “polygamist special” amusing.  But I digress.)  So.  Mom was very, erm, impressed with the roses.

“They smell,” she pronounced, “like dead birds.”

Elpinoine ignored this with as great skill as she has in this area (and it’s considerable.)  She said that they smelled like something else, but I don’t remember what…  fruit or something…nice… but then she also brought down her strawberries’n'cream shimmery body spray which I gave her for Christmas and offered to spritz them.  I told her No.  She giggled and took it away. 

I think Miss Dance just sort of gushed over them, about how nice they smelled and how sweet it was of Dad to get them, etc, etc, etc.  We discussed the feather roses for a few minutes and then went on to other things.  (Better things?)

Later on that night, Miss Dance came into the kitchen.

“I’VE GOT IT!” she shrieked, in the same tone in which Eureka was probably originally said.  “THE ROSES ARE MADE OF FEATHERS!!!!!”
Dad, Mom and I:  *blink*  *blinkblink*
her:  “THEY’RE MADE OF FEATHERS!!!!!!!!  I JUST FIGURED THAT OUT!!!!”
us:  *smash heads into nearest wall*  [okay, that’s an exaggeration.  But not by much.]
her:  *very satisfied with herself*  “That’s why you were calling them feather roses!  They’re made out of FEATHERS!!!”

What on earth are you supposed to say to that?

Then tonight in the car on the way home from church we began discussing names.  I forget exactly how it started, but Mom pointed out to her that she is the one who has claimed to want to name a kid “Dingbat”.  (She thinks it’s cute.)

Miss Dance:  “Hey!  ANYA is the one who has names like Israel –no no not Israel” [although I like that one fine too] “– Zion and AtlantIS!”
me:  “And Luther.”
her:  “BLEGH.  Well, Luther’s not so bad…”
Ibey:  “And Knox.”
Miss Dance:  “See???? KNOX!  What did I tell you!  KNOX!  That’s, like, an OLD-FASHIONED name!  KNOX!”
Mom:  “Who’s there?”
Miss Dance:  “KNOX!!!”
Elpinoine:  *begins knocking on the window*
Miss Dance:  “KNOX!!!!!!”
Mom:  “Who’s there?”
Ibey:  “Knox who?”
me:  “Knock knock…”
Miss Dance:  “KNOX!!!!“
*a minute later*
her:  “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GET IT!!!  KNOX!!  Like, like, KNOCKS!  Like K-N-O-C-K-S!!!!!!!!  And who said I was slow to get jokes?????”