Chapter 2 of the new story July 10, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 1 comment so far(Suggestions for a title, anyone? I have one idea, but I’m quite open to more. And suggestions in general.)
Chapter 2
Andrew felt as if every nerve in his body was straining to hear the next word which the prince would say, although he already knew what it would be.
“This man,” said the prince, still looking at Andrew with something very like compassion, “is not guilty.”
There was a moment of absolute silence in the court. Andrew did not at all understand what had just happened. Was it possible that the prince was mocking him?
Damian’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the prince with undisguised loathing. “You cheated. He is guilty. He is guilty. He is guilty!” His voice rose in a frantic crescendo of hatred.
It was to Andrew that the prince addressed his explanation, his voice solemn to match the gravity of the silent question in Andrew’s puzzled eyes. “You committed all of these heinous crimes, I know,” he began. “But the guilt is not yours.”
Andrew was too perplexed to make any answer, so he continued staring dumbly at the prince.
The prince smiled again, but he was still serious. “You are not guilty because your guilt was taken by someone else, and he already fully paid your punishment.”
“B-but my lord, my punishment is death,” said Andrew weakly. His eyes were riveted to the prince and thus he could not see Peter. Peter had remained in the court the entire time, shrinking back as if from a blow as each person stated their accusations against his brother. He could not disagree with them, but his eyes never wavered from the face of the judge until the prince came forward. Then a light of hope crept into Peter’s eyes. He face was filled with a struggle and a plea to the prince, and the prince had met his eyes and smiled. Damian noted this bitterly; as soon as the prince lifted his eyes from the wretched Andrew to Peter and given him a smile full of confident understanding, the tension seeped out of Peter and he had relaxed, patiently waiting for the verdict.
“The punishment for your crimes was death,” the prince stated, in agreement with Andrew. “But, as I said, it has been paid.”
Andrew dared to take a breath as he continued to look at the prince. He did not seem to notice the revulsion and antipathy directed at him in Damian’s glare. “M-May I ask who has… paid for me?”
“You may,” said the prince. Damian cringed as if he could not bear to hear the answer. “I paid for you.”
Andrew looked more confused than ever.
“Do I have your permission to leave?” asked Damian sulkily. “I think that I know how this is going to end, and I have other business to be about.”
“Yes, you may go,” said the prince with a dismissive wave of his fingers. “You know the laws which you must follow.”
Damian hurried out of the court. Andrew, following him with his eyes, noticed that the only people left in the courtroom were Peter and the boy from the grocery store. They were sitting in opposite sections, though, and seemed to be completely unaware of each other’s presence.
Peter got out of his seat and moved toward the dias at the center of the chamber. At first he walked slowly, but then he was running, almost flying. Not to his brother, but to the prince. His face was wet with tears.
“Thank you, my lord,” Andrew overhead him say. Then the prince and his brother spoke together for another minute, the prince resting his hand on Peter’s shoulder. Andrew wondered at the fact that they seemed to be friends. It appeared that his brother had many more — and more powerful — friends than he had realized. Finally Peter nodded at the prince and walked thoughtfully to the door. He hesitated in the doorway for only a second, looking back at the prince and his brother as if to impress the moment on his memory, then moved outside.
The prince smiled at Andrew. “Your brother has worked hard on your behalf,” he said. “He spent many hours petitioning for you. He would spend all night sometimes talking to me about you.”
Tears filled Andrew’s eyes. “I never knew that,” he whispered. “Why should he have done that? I hurt him in every conceivable way.”
“I know,” said the prince.
“You do?” asked Andrew, with a momentary flash of anger at the thought that Peter had complained about his private affairs to this man, who, after all, Andrew had never met before today. But then he remembered that thousands of his crimes had been listed in court that day, for all who cared to hear; and also how he had bragged at one time to all his friends about all the things which he had done to Peter, and he blushed.
The prince looked at him and seemed to know what he was thinking. “Yes, Peter told me about everything.”
“Then…” began Andrew.
“He did not tell me in anger,” said the prince gently. “He told me of it with tears, remembering what had been and could not now be changed. His tears were for what you had been suffering even then, tears washing away his own anger with you.”
“He had every right to be angry,” Andrew admitted.
“At first,” the prince continued, “his own wounds were too deep for us to talk of many other things. I was healing him, and that did not happen overnight. But now he rarely mentions to me the wounds which you cut into him. And when he does, it’s with a half-smile and no anger at all; mostly in gratitude to me for cleansing them and healing him.”
Andrew didn’t remember when the prince had descended from the dais, but at some point, he had, and they were now sitting together at one of the tables which was for material evidence to be set up on. “So what did he talk about with you, then?” he asked curiously.
The prince laughed. “He and I talked about many things. I assume that you mean what else did he have to say about you? Peter told me the good which he remembered of you. He told me about how you took care of him last winter when the plague struck him down.”
Andrew blushed again. “What else could I have done? He is my brother. He would have done the same for me. Many is the night he stayed awake as a boy when I was ill. It was little enough,” he concluded awkwardly, still red-faced.
The prince grinned fondly. “I know. But he remembered it with love and hope. He told me how you paid his rent, too, when he was out of a job.”
Andrew went beyond blushing this time. He turned beet-red to the tips of his ears. “I didn’t think he knew,” he said feebly.
“He told me that, as a child, you made up stories of a kingdom ‘outside’, where there was no slavery.”
“I had forgotten those stories,” said Andrew wistfully.
“He didn’t, though. And Peter told me that several times, when you were younger, you gave him your dinner because you were concerned that he was hungry. Do you remember?”
“No,” said Andrew, sounding surprised. He thought for a moment. “Oh yes. Now I do, vaguely. He was hungry, too; he’d cry at night because he was so hungry. And then get up the next morning with a smile on his lips, ready to work in the fields again. And –” he was warming to his subject, ” — he would do not only his own work, but that of a few others — older women, the girls, little boys, that of the men who sick — making sure that they’d meet their quota. Sometimes he was like to kill himself with such labour in the sun, and still would fall short of meeting all their quotas, and then he would make up the difference from his own. He’d rather fall short himself, than let someone else, and he was severely punished. Of course he was hungry!”
“He never forgot your sacrifices for him,” said the prince. “And he reminded me of them over and over again, sometimes with agony. He did not want you to be lost. Peter has a great love for you — a great love for many people, and with that love comes a deep pain which you cannot yet fully feel.”
“Is love only pain, then?” Andrew asked, with a sigh of resignition.
“No, of course not,” answered the prince patiently. “It also has a far greater joy than you can yet even begin to imagine. Peter has been allowed to feel much of the pain, but he has only tasted the smallest part of the joy. Today he was almost overwhelmed by the new heights of joy to which he soared. It will come. More and more. But for now, the pain is primary — it must be so for a time, so that later he can drink in the joy unrestrainedly and be able to live. You will understand more fully later, and when you do begin to understand, you will also begin to be able to taste the joy. When you fully understand the purpose of the pain, its purpose will be completed, and it shall no longer be needed nor have any place in you.”
“I’d just as much rather understand it all now and skip on ahead,” said Andrew.
The prince could not help laughing. “That is a natural reaction, Andrew. I felt the same way myself.” He saw the look on Andrew’s face and interpreted it correctly. “Aye, I felt the great pain of which I spoke… I drained its cup to the bitter dregs. I know exactly what it is like, how it feels. But the pain will vanish like mist before the unabated joy to come. I promise.”
“I don’t understand,” said Andrew.
“I don’t expect you to,” countered the prince. “But while you do not yet understand, remember what I have said, and believe it. Hang on to my promise — that the joy is far more glorious than the pain is terrible — and you will come to understand.”
Finis Chapter 2
New Story July 7, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 6commentsI started working on a new story yesterday. Chapter One is done, and I thought I’d post it. I’d be interested to know what you think. But feel free to leave me a comment even if you don’t feel like reading the whole thing… I’m always happy to hear from my friends.
Chapter One:
He stood before the judge, face white and eyes filled with an ocean of agony.
“You are guilty,” concluded his accuser, quietly but firmly, with the assurance of one who knows that he is right. Damian looked at the judge as if to remind him of the severity of the offense. The judge returned his gaze levelly. He had not forgotten. He could hardly have forgotten, when it was a murder trial for the death of his own son. His son – his only son, whom he had watched grow from a child to a man. And then he had seen him as he died.
Damian, who was bringing the charge, saw all these thoughts passing through the eyes of the judge. There was no doubt in his mind that the accused was guilty.
The prisoner also knew of his guilt. He was haunted by it and stood in terror of the judge before whom he stood. He knew that if he had been innocent, the judge would have known it. But he was not. He was fully guilty.
Everyone fell silent as they waited for the verdict of the judge. (more…)
What I’ve Been Learning (and will continue to forever) July 6, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 2commentsIt has been a few long days. I’m working on catching up in Systematic Theology for the study group on the Reb, filling in the ditch in the back yard, cleaning house, swimming (with three 10 year old boys intent on splashing me to death)… and that was yesterday. Oh yeah, we also had the guest pastor over yesterday evening. And then Pedro Tangentry and I were trying to work out a Rebelutionary get-together. That was insane.
Then today went something like this: Sunday school (with an update from the Regional Home Missionary — our guest pastor — on mission works/church plants in the US), church, lunch at church, evening service in the afternoon… (tired yet?)… then we came home quite quickly and then headed to the birthday party for a lady from our church who is having chemo right now. From there we went to another birthday party for the daughter of a lady who’s been coming to our church. Then we went to the park. Then Dad and I went back to the nursing home (where party no. 1 had been) to visit a man from our church.
*exhaustion*
Andúnë made me get back up, though. 
I was thinking yesterday, though… it is a good feeling to know that there is no one on earth I’d like to trade lives with. I’m very content with what I’m doing, in work, in play, in relationships with my friends and my family. In what God is doing and teaching me. It’s not always fun, not always easy. But I am confident that it’s good.
In fact, I’ve been keeping a sort of journal over the past few months as different “hard things” strike me. Sort of prayers, sort of my thoughts, and whatever. But the phrase that I seem to be finding most consistently written is, “You are good”. No matter what happens, as I think about it, pray about it, talk to people about it, I find that God is good, in ways far deeper and more glorious than I had ever known before.
I am looking forward to eternity.
Clearness and Liberty July 4, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, I won't keep things purposely vague , 3commentsEvery now and then (and that is like every now AND then), we are compelled to wonder what the other kids are trying to say. Mom has plenty of examples of these sorts of things on her blog.
Here are a few more for you.
Miss Dog Lover and I were playing checkers yesterday. It’s a game that I actually will play. Some strategy required, but it doesn’t take terribly long. Plus, there is the very satisfying noise which pieces make as they hit the board on the other side of a “jumped” piece. Anyway, I had her down to one piece (crowned/kinged, no less) and she was trapped. (I think I had an impressive two pieces left, myself.)
“Ohhh,” she moaned. “Please don’t do it.”
I asked if she preferred to surrender or die. “Neither,” she said. “The number five thing.”
The number five thing? Is this some rule of checkers that I don’t know?
“The number five thing?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she said.
“What is the number five thing?”
“You know,” said Miss Dog Lover (although I didn’t). “The thing I can do and don’t have to die.”
What?
I reminded her that her options, as far as I knew, were at this point to surrender or die. Again I asked her which she would like to choose.
She stubbornly maintained that she didn’t want to do either, she wanted “the number five” thing.
I was sort of intrigued and also wanted to wrap up the game.
“What ‘number five’ thing?” I asked again.
She sighed at me and my lack of intellect. “You know! The thing that Miss Dance says.”
This was not ringing a bell. It wasn’t even faintly thumping on it. I was beginning to wonder if there was a bell. Oh me of little faith.
I shrugged at her, persistently asking again if she wanted to surrender or die.
“NEITHER!” she told me again…
(At this juncture, it may be helpful to picture the section from Babe. You know. This section: “Fly decided to speak very slowly, for it was a cold fact of nature that sheep were stupid… and no one would ever persuade her otherwise… The sheep spoke very slowly, for it was a cold fact of nature that wolves were ignorant… and nothing would convince them otherwise.” I was definitely starting to feel like Fly and the sheep. It doesn’t really matter which one, either will do. Anyway.)
“You know,” repeated Miss Dog Lover. “The number five thing that Miss Dance says and it means that you don’t want to say anything else.”
Oh.
That number five thing.
“Pleading the fifth?” I ventured.
“Yes,” she said, oblivious to why this hadn’t been perfectly clear to me from the get-go. “I want to plead the fifth.”
*sigh* Isn’t the next song Come Right Out and Say It? It would simplify things.
~~~
Then, last night, we were watching The Stratton Story. Someone (I have forgotten who the guilty party was) began comparing the relative ages of Jimmy Stewart and Dad. Dad said something along the lines of, “Well, so you think that Jimmy Stewart is younger than me?”
Ibey came out with the wisdom of the ages (more or less literally), tactfully phrased and all. “Well he is, then.”
I couldn’t really disagree with that. I don’t think anyone could. Especially since we were all (like the hobbits at Bilbo Baggins’ Eleventy-One party) trying to figure out just what that meant.
~~~
The good news is that the gospel isn’t so hard to figure out. Peter writes, “For we did not follow cleverly devised myths when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty. For when he received honor and glory from God the Father, and the voice was borne to him by the Majestic Glory, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased,’ we ourselves heard this very voice borne from heaven, for we were with him on the holy mountain. And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts, knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone’s own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.” (II Peter 1:16-21)
Jesus fulfilled these prophecies, and the liberty which is being celebrated in America today.
“‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
and recovering of sight to the blind,
to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.’ And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. And he began to say to them, ‘Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.’ And all spoke well of him and marveled at the gracious words that were coming from his mouth.” (Luke 4:18-21)
Transparency June 24, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 2commentsThis is definitely an issue of online-dom. In real life, we can hide some things — and hide them quite effectively and for years. But online, we can hide things forever, especially from the people who only know us online. It’s possible that when I’m IMing someone, they’ll pick up that I’m not in a great mood or whatever… but the people who pick up on those things are generally the ones who know me and see me all the time anyway, and have a very good idea of how I ought to sound.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Edith Schaeffer wrote about how our lives (especially in families) should be like doors — having hinges so that they can be open to others, but also having locks so that, at times, we can be alone.
But it’s not necessarily a good thing, either. In Ephesians 5, Paul talks about wicked deeds which the world does. Then he goes on to say, “…now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” We are not going to be doing a very good job exposing the “unfruitful works of darkness” if we are trying to keep parts of our own life out of the light!
Then our task, as Christians, is to fulfill what Paul then tells us to do in verses 15 and 16: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” What is “the best use of time”? What should we spend our time on? If we put no restraints on what we are sharing, is that really what is most helpful? Or are we going to the opposite extreme of the “Stained Glass Masquerade” which Casting Crowns sings about?
…So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see themAre we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain?
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade… …But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to beWould your arms be open?
Or would you walk away?
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay?…I think I’ve been blessed with friends — both in real life and online — who hold me accountable to be real. And a benefit of being homeschooled (*grins*) is that it’s awfully hard to be someone around your family and someone else at school. Antion wrote about this. (He is so helpful in doing this sort of thing; I’m editing it slightly for clarity.) “You know, sometimes I wonder how much I should actually write in here. I mean, like I said, my life should be open for everyone to see, critique, attack, etc? But is this the way to do it? I don’t know. There are just some things, I wonder what will happen once I put them on here. What will people think? But then again should I worry about that?” He has been enabled to be transparent — at least with those who are close to him — about his life because of the very thing that he used as a header on an old blog. “My life… for Him.”
Ultimately, that’s what ought to be enabling all of us to have lives in the light. Knowing, as the Heidelberg Catechism put it, “That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.”
Wow. I… am not my own… all things must be subservient to my salvation… sincerely willing and ready… to live unto him.
James Ward sings about it beautifully. Unfortunately, his music is really hard to find. Fortunately, I found it online. Listen to it. :) Go to: http://www.newcityfellowship.com/music.html
and then, in the little music box, click on “I Belong to You.” Enjoy.
So I’ll be striving to keep my life in Him, something that can be transparent without me wincing. And, of course, looking forward to the day when the end result will be brought about… something like what Tolkien wrote about.
But to the wizard’s eye there was a faint change, just a hint as it were of transparency, about him…
“Still that must be expected,” said Gandalf to himself. “He is not half through yet, and to what he will come in the end not even Elrond can foretell. Not to evil, I think. He may become like a glass filled with a clear light for eyes to see that can.”
Maybe This World is a Barren Place June 17, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 5commentsWatch this to get started: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfeXxkbgCVE
It is rather mind-boggling how many people we walk past every day with problems. That we have no idea… and barely even notice that they’re there.
That bothers me.
On the other hand, it’s a good thing that we don’t have those glasses. It would be far too easy to become overwhelmed at the needs and despair, or become overwhelmed and grow cold to them.
Still.
Relient K was onto something with their song Give Until There’s Nothing Left. And Pastor M is big on the same point. Are we planning to rust and fall apart in God’s service — being unused? Or are we going to fall apart because we wear out?
What scares me rather more than all the people in Wal*Mart I walk past, not knowing nor really caring, what their problems are, is when I wonder what’s going on with the people I think I do know.
It comes back to Steve Garber’s line that I remember a lot: “Only connect.” I can’t connect with everyone… that makes me sad. But I love connections (in pretty much all areas of life!) and when I have them, I want to figure out what is making people tick; what we have in common, what we have that we disagree on but can talk about without killing each other. (Always a desirable thing, I think!)
The song Real by Plumb made me think about one of the times where I’ve seen how miserably connections failed.
…Well be pleased world
If this is what you wanted
This young girl is everything that you made
What will she say
Aren’t I lovely?
And do you want me? cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me? and
Do you love me? cause
I am desperately searching for something
Real…
Some people I know have accused me of reacting too violently and with too much shock to sinful behaviors. It does tend to shock me when people sin. That is kind of surprising in itself, since I do believe in total depravity. Still. When I find out that a girl who came to a VBS where I was working has been pregnant, it jolts me. It makes me wonder where the connections broke down, between what we taught at VBS and how it’s been lived out. I remember talking and laughing with her, hearing about her escapades in cooking chicken on their grill… perfectly ordinary things. And now I see her looking for love in so many wrong places, and that hurts.
It is part of living in a fallen world; things hurt. But growing accustomed to them being that way cannot be a good thing. Jesus had compassion on the people whom He saw when they were being led astray. Compassion doesn’t make life easy, but who said that life is supposed to be easy? The Princess Bride is hardly an oft-quoted theological source, but Westley does have a point. “Life is pain… anyone who says differently is selling something.”
Jesus, it should be noted, did not promise that life wouldn’t be painful. Instead, He said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
In Romans 12, Paul tells us how we are about to be overcoming. He wrote, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The very imagery of “overcoming” suggests something hard, that we have to wrestle for, fight for, and possibly die for.
thumbs out on a desert road I am told
leads to nowhere
any shade is as good as the next
if your shadow doesn’t go thereweek seven: Did you really assume
I’d find some solace from the letter in your room?
next life, could you kindly refrain
from throwing yourself at the mercy of a train?
silence all, nobody breathe
how in the world could you just leave?
you promised you would
silence that evil with good
hear me out, I have the floor
I’ll give you my tears, I’ll listen more
you promised you would
overcome evil with good
maybe this world is a barren place for a soul
prone to get lost
but heaven still hounds from the smallest sounds
to the cries of the storm-tossed
week nine: I am writing in the sand
any little clue that could help me understand
every whispered secret, every muffled sigh
every half-truth that was added to a lie
silence all, nobody move
I’ve got to know now what you hoped to prove
you promised you would
silence that evil with good
shame feeds guilt, guilt needs release
you took it to God
you made your peace
and swore that you would
overcome evil with good
every old demon playing back the crime
if they needed blood, I’d have gladly given mine
a Child of the Kingdom; still an invalid
forgive her, please Father
she don’t know what she did
silence all, now go to sleep
the water’s free, the well is deep
how can we return
that which we never could earn?
God, I long to see her face
we haven’t a hope
beyond Your grace
I know that You will
overcome evil
for good
[Newboys, Elle G]
They nailed it. Our only hope for overcoming the evil and the pain which we see in the world all around us is the grace of God. But it is a sure hope. And we are called to be ambassadors of that hope as God works through us to bring it to the world.
To do that, we need to know people.
God calls us to a very messy life, but the reward is great.
So keep your eyes open for what is going on in other people. I know this was sort of long, and disconnected, for which I apologize. If you have ideas on ways to make this post flow better, let me know. And if there is something that I ought to be doing to connect, but am not, let me know.
God promises a love that makes us real and overcomes the barrenness of this world, offering hope to “souls prone to get lost”.
Isaiah 54
1 “Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;
break forth into singing and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,
and your offspring will possess the nations
and will people the desolate cities.
4 “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
5 For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.
6 For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
says your God.
7 For a brief moment I deserted you,
but with great compassion I will gather you.
8 In overflowing anger for a moment
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.
9 “This is like the days of Noah to me:
as I swore that the waters of Noah
should no more go over the earth,
so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,
and will not rebuke you.
10 For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
11 “O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted,
behold, I will set your stones in antimony,
and lay your foundations with sapphires.
12 I will make your pinnacles of agate,
your gates of carbuncles,
and all your wall of precious stones.
13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
and great shall be the peace of your children.
14 In righteousness you shall be established;
you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
and from terror, for it shall not come near you.
15 If anyone stirs up strife,
it is not from me;
whoever stirs up strife with you
shall fall because of you.
16 Behold, I have created the smith
who blows the fire of coals
and produces a weapon for its purpose.
I have also created the ravager to destroy;
17 no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,
and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”
I am so glad that I’m homeschooled. May 14, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 2commentsI know that I keep saying that. But reasons keep coming up.
Tonight it was the one girl talking at youth group… “Yeah, he flunked the drug test at school. I told him he would. He was smoking weed.”
Er… yeah.
Enough said.
Pleading the Fifth May 13, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 1 comment so farI was looking at some things I had written a while ago. It’s incredible how often doing that leads me to wonder if I used to be smarter. Really. I had been writing about those sort of situations which don’t really seem to have any good sort of resolution and the best thing to do appears to be walking away. (This sort of reminds me of Mr. Bean’s Holiday, where he sloshes coffee all over the other guy’s laptop and just goes on his merry way. Ibey finds this outrageous. But I digress.)
Anyway, at the time — about a year ago — I had come to the conclusion that there are situations when we don’t have a right to remain silent.
These occasions probably fall into basically two categories.
1) When we are called to speak to someone about something which is wrong in their lives.
2) When we are called to thank someone for something they did right.
Biblical basis for the first would be found in Ezekiel 33:1-9 and James 5:19-20 and various other places.
For the second point, I’m going to call into play a verse which I love a lot. You probably shouldn’t ask what called it to my attention just… because. Okay. I’ve warned you. Anyway, here it is: Proverbs 3:27. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.
I decided that it would be fun to try putting that verse into action. Because a lot of times I owe some sort of good to people and far too easily withhold it. Not good. But it was fun when I tried applying it to real life. Hey, I thought one night, I was having fun talking with Meredith. I should thank Samwise for introducing us. Then after a minute another thought struck me (much like the thoughts on the Vogon planet, for those who have watched Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy — props to Andúnë and Griffin). Anya, quit procrastinating, said thought #2. You’re online and you have Sam’s email address. Shoot him off a quick thank you. Thought #3, I’m afraid, pointed out that this would look rather goofy. Fortunately, Samwise is already rather well acquainted with my goofiness, and I didn’t think it would bother him. It didn’t.
So… think about it. Where do you not have the right to remain silent? Mordecai made it obvious to Esther that God had appointed her to the position where she was for a reason, not to be quiet.
And then do it. God has put you where you are for a purpose. To be a witness.
Giving What We Cannot Keep April 29, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 2commentsWe watched Beyond the Gates of Splendor the other night. I highly recommend it. It’s a sort of documentary of the lives and deaths and work of five missionaries in Ecuador, of whom Jim Elliot is probably the best known. It has some fascinating interviews with the missionaries’ widows, friends, and those who killed them. (I had the privilege of meeting both Mincaye and Steve Saint — you’ll get to see both of them and learn about who they are if you watch Beyond the Gates.) There’s also a lot of actual footage, which is very cool.
That whole story is one which amazingly illustrates how a few people who will give up everything can be used by God to make huge differences. Differences which leave the world in a state of shocked awe, and can clearly have only been worked by God, “Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine”. (Ephesians 3:20)
We have been seeing that in our devotions at home, where we’ve been studying the Old Testament. Even when Judah had fallen far from obedience to God, one faithful king — such as Hezekiah — brought about incredible change and reform.
So what will God do in our lives — with our lives — if we will be totally faithful to Him? The Westminster Shorter Catechism says that “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” What if we lived every moment asking, “What will glorify God the most?” (Incidentally, I’m sure that is what we were to learn from the Missionary Preparedness Test with its challenge of obeying our parents for a year — every time, immediately, exactly, and cheerfully.) Are we ready to obey God in everything which He asks of us, immediately, exactly, and cheerfully?
What if that means dying? Living to please Him, and then dying? To be honest, that scares me. I think it would be awesome, but it it still scares me. That’s okay, though. you can be scared in yourself and still trusting outside yourself at the same time.
And now for some thoughts from other heads…
Aaron Shust: “I will wait for Your plan to unfold… I know that I owe You my life… You watch over me/through the darkest valley… I love You more than life itself…” (various songs from Whispered and Shouted)
King David: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” (Psalm 23:4)
MercyMe: “And I pray that You will use my life/In whatever way Your name is glorified/Even if surrendering means leaving everything… behind.” (I Would Die For You, which was written about a young man who died as a result of a missions trip.)
Paul wrote, “For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain… this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison… I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Philippians 1:21, II Corinthians 4:17, Romans 8:18)
Jim Elliot wrote, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
The words for the song The Prophecy, from the movie The Fellowship of the Ring, have struck me. “Hlasta! Qyetes Hfirimain…” “Listen! It speaks to those who were not born to die…”
That is who God has made us. Hfirimain. Those who were not born to die. Incredible word.
And at the same time, I was struck by the words from the song Suicide Note. “I had a dream last night…/…That maybe I was meant to die/For something that is greater than me… or all that I could be…”
This is also true. As Christians we are called to die. To ourselves and our sinful nature, which looks crazy, and, well, suicidal to the world (which is what Suicide Note is about), but as we die to ourselves, we come to live in Christ. To Christ.
It’s a central truth of Christianity. We live by death. Christ’s death for us. And God often uses the blood of His martyrs as the seed of His church.
So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit. But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual. The first man was from the earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven. As was the man of dust, so also are those who are of the dust, and as is the man of heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven. (I Corinthians 15:42-49)
I had a dream last night…
…That maybe I was meant to die
For something that is greater than me… or all that I could be…
Laugh. April 17, 2008
Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 1 comment so farThis has to be the funniest thing I’ve read in quite a while, so I thought I’d share it with you.
Prayer
Several scientific studies have shown that prayer may have an objective and positive effect on health outcomes. In these studies, the health of people who were prayed for improved substantially more than that of people who were not prayed for. This outcome occurred whether or not the person who was ill knew about the praying or believed in the power of prayer. Medical science cannot explain the connection between prayer and healing. [from the American Medical Association’s Family Medical Guide.]
Well. James could explain it. “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:14-16, ESV)
If all I had was one last prayer, I’d pray it ’cause I know You’re always listening. ~ Jeff Chandler, sung by Casting Crowns.
And in a way, it’s really sad that they cannot explain this connection. But I was still amused. God works in funny ways, ways that don’t always make sense to us. Ways in which we cannot take the credit for.
For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (I Corinthians 1:26-31)
