It’s Districts! April 25, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 3commentsOkay, so this is not actually live-blogging (are you insane? If I was trying to live-blog quizzing, I would not get to talk to anyone and hence there would be very little for me to blog about!) but it’s pretty close. 
Let’s see. Districts is actually at our church (well, not *my* church but the church where I go to youth group and quizzing… yes, I’ll try to can the parentheticals, or at least cut back on them…) so I don’t have lots of quotes from the car ride. Which could be a good thing, considering how last year it was all about Sam, Josh, and Andrew singing “We Are The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”, and of course it was beautiful weather so we had the windows open… moral of the story: It is most difficult to pretend that you don’t know people when you’re in the same care as them.
ANYWAY. So we got to the church and I spied Peter running at us. I was extremely high on adrenaline — I still am — so I was yelling to him before we were even out of the car. Fun stuff. He told me that no one I knew was there yet except Bethany T… this was not entirely accurate as I know several kids from other districts, but it wasn’t far off. So I went inside and paced around and ran up and down the stairs and waited for people to get there and opened doors so we could get the bench seats in and all that good stuff.
And then… someone hollered my name… and then Dad hollered at me that Griffin wanted me. He was driving *gasp* and needed to know when we started quizzing. I’m so helpful. “Six? Six thirty? Something like that? Um… would you like me to find out?” Griffin: *sounding mildly sarcastic* “Yes, that would be nice.” I suppose so. I never know that sort of thing, though!
We went to announcements. Mr. S asked if there were any questions. someone [not Peter!]: “What’s for lunch?” Mike: “What’s quizzing?”
Mhmm. Thank you guys.
Then we headed in to our first quiz. And waited, because the H family was not yet there. This throws a wrench into things when the boys (Mark and Alex) are captains, and their dad is a coach, and their mom was handling stats. Unfortunately, they’re another cell-phone-less family, so we were compelled to be patient (!) and wonder for a few minutes.
Sarah: “You’d think they’d have been here a day early!”
us: *wait wait wait*
someone: “It’s a helicopter! I bet it’s them!” [It wasn’t.]
They did get there, and proceeded to confuse us by switching which team Mark and Alex were on! The only explanation which we could get, from either of them, was, “It’s a long story.” Oookay.
I did remember to show Griffin the clock and the shrubs. He laughed. Some people are easily amused…
…such as Dakota. He kept “killing” me with a truck until Samwise finally told him that it was mean and started playing more peaceably with him. Well, sort of more peaceably. They were building, but then it turned into wrecking. We are thankful that Samwise is studying chemistry, NOT engineering. Then I somehow started playing with them. Dakota: “Again and again and again and again and…”
Mrs. O (Dakota’s mom): “Next he’ll want to take you home!”
Dakota: “Ah you comin’ to da hotel? We’ going swimmin! Come swimmin!”
Sam: *blinks*
me: “No, we live here. Well, not here, but…”
Sam: “Close.”
Mrs. O: “PLEASE don’t tell him that you live at the church! He’ll want to spend the night!”
…Dakota wasn’t the only one confused about where we were staying.
Johnny D: *very hopefully* “So. Are you staying at the Holiday Inn?”
me: “Uh, no. Johnny. I live here. You can almost see my house from here.”
Johnny: “Oh yeah. DRAT!”
(He just wanted to play Marco Polo again, probably.)
He was also busy launching paper from a (fiberglass?) rod in the parkinglot… unfortunately I didn’t have my camera with me…
But there it is for the night.
Quiz Practice Strikes Again April 20, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 2commentsThat is, Samwise was striking. The light. He suddenly jumped out of his chair and whacked it. He was trying to knock the dead flies (ew) out of it. Our tangent could have stopped right there. But oh no. Mr. G. looked into his cup (which had been on the table underneath the light) and made a face at Sam. “Thanks, Sam,” he said. “Now there’s flies in my cup.” We all laughed about hat for a minute and sat back down to practice… it could have ended there but, as I’m posting about it, it obviously didn’t…
Samwise cupped his hands and held them out to Andrew.
Sam: “Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!”
Andrew: *laughs* “No, there isn’t.”
Sam: “Yes, there is!”
Andrew: “No, there isn’t!”
Sam: “Yes, there is! Look for yourself!”
Andrew: “No, there isn’t. I don’t need to look. We don’t put flies in the soup.”
Sam: *sigh* *fishes “fly” out of “bowl”* *holds it up* “Look at this. This fly. It was in my soup.”
Andrew: *coughlaugh* “That is not a fly.”
Sam: *looks at it* *indignantly* “Yes, it is! Then what is it?”
Andrew: *laughing* “It’s… erm… it’s an olive.”
Sam: *looks at it again* “That is not an olive. It’s too small for an olive –”
Andrew: “It’s a baby olive.”
Sam: “A what?”
Andrew: “A, uh, baby olive.” *grins*
Sam: *blink* “If it’s a baby olive, why does it have legs?”
Andrew: “It doesn’t have legs.”
Sam: “Yes, it does. Look.”
Andrew: “Those aren’t legs.”
Sam: “Oh yeah, really? Then what are they?”
Andrew: “They’re twigs. Olive twigs.”
Sam: “They’re what?”
Andrew: “Olive twigs. Look, do you grow olives?”
Sam: “Well, no –”
Andrew: “See? Then just trust me. They’re olive twigs.”
Sam: “Well… I didn’t order my soup with olives. Or flies.”
Andrew: “Yes, you ordered olive-tomato-parsley soup.”
Sam: “No, I didn’t.”
Andrew: “Yes, you did.”
Sam: “No, I didn– look, I remember. I did not order… olive-tomato-parsley soup.”
Andrew: “I distinctly remember that you did. Wait.” *pulls “notepad” out of pocket* *looks at it* “Yep, here it is. Olive-tomato-parsley soup.”
Sam: “WHA–?” *grabs “notebook”* “No, no. That says oregano tomato soup. Nothing about olives.”
Andrew: “Oh well. I thought that you said olive.”
Sam: “What? Look. How much do you get paid to bring my soup to me? From there to here.”
Andrew: “Um… how much is in your wallet?”
Sam: *thinks about this* “I don’t have a wallet.”
Andrew: “You don’t?”
Sam: “No. I am definitely absolutely positive; I do not have a wallet.”
Andrew: “Well, then, there is no way I’m getting you a new bowl of soup.”
Sam: “What? I think I want to talk to the manager.”
Andrew: *cough* “Well, I am the manager.”
Sam: *stunned silence* “…well, how about one of the other waiters?”
Andrew: “I am the Other Waiters.”
Sam: “What kind of restaurant is this?”
Andrew: “Actually, they’re out to lunch.”
*laughter*
It did have a rather Hitchhiker-ian feel to it.
But if you’re coming to Districts, watch out for the flies.
Quizzing… the Last (Regular) Meet April 5, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 2commentsPeter: “You are coming in my car.”
me: “Why?”
Peter: “Because I have one of the best movies that you have never seen yet!”
We watched the first half of Spider-Man 2. I still haven’t seen 1, just 3. (Thanks a lot, I will probably now have NIGHTMARES about being killed by flying glass shards or deathly head locks from nasty metal octopus arms. UGH.)
Peter: *stops movie right in the middle of a very tense scene* *begins telling totally unrelated story*
me: “PEEEEETER!!!”
Peter: “Oops. I do that all the time.”
Peter: “You know, I was really getting bored of watching this movie. But it is a lot of fun to watch it with you because you bring a unique perspective to it.”
*cough* My “perspective” consisted mostly of cringing whenever things crashed in to each other and saying, “OW!” about every two seconds.
And then at the quiz…
me: “ABBI! What grade are you in?”
Abbi: “Um, tenth.”
me: “I thought for sure that you were a senior!”
Abbi: “I’m sorry!”
Then on the other hand there was Samantha to me… “I had never realized before today that you would be graduating!” Okay, maybe it is flattering to look younger than you are, but… I’d prefer if at least people weren’t so surprised to find out how old I actually am…
Lizzie and Samwise went to an 80’s style dance last night, and Lizzie was most dreadfully excited about it. She had promised to show me pictures from the dance. Note to self: You cannot really see pictures very well when they are on a tiny camera viewscreen and you are running up the stairs which prove to be uncommonly trippy-type stairs anyway. Oh well. She had a good time, and Samwise was a good brother to go along with her.
The stairs were quite a thing in themselves. They had a rather Narnian feel going as we scrambled up and up and yet upwards, trying to find our quizzing rooms. Then, as I mentioned before, I kept tripping on them. Both going down (which is understandable) and going up (which just makes me feel like an idiot). Peter called down something to me about being careful on the staircase — except he said scarecase by mistake. We called it “The Scarecase” the rest of the day.
Griffin: *says something about being surprised*
Peter: “Well, at least Anya didn’t FAINT!”
me: *trying (rather unsuccessfully) to ignore him* *blush*
Griffin: *stare* “WHAT?!?”
Peter: “You know. She has this habit of fainting around you.”
Griffin: *stares blankly*
me: “Uh… remember… that time you talked to me…”
Peter: “And she “passed out”…”
Griffin: “Oh. That was ONCE. I hardly think that qualifies as a “habit”.”
Peter: “But you DID cause her to faint!”
Griffin: “Uh… I’m gonna come up with a good comeback for that, give me a minute…”
Peter: “Why do you need a comeback?!? Look at her! She’s turning red!”
Griffin or someone: “It is warm in here.”
Mr. K: *mercifully sends Griffin on an errand and the subject dies*
Edited to add: The reason I had “fainted” before around Griff was as a result of him talking to me and not pretending that he didn’t know me. 
I was being overly dramatic. As usual. 
Whatever the errand was, it apparently involved running down and back up the Scarecase, which almost led to Griffin’s demise… which would have been terribly sad.
Peter: *tells me to do something*
me: “Yes, your highness!”
Peter: *gasp* “Don’t CALL me that!”
Yes, your highness!
me: (as Andrew’s family was leaving a bit early so he could be at his play on time) “Break a leg, Andrew!”
Samwise: “Thanks!”
Andrew and I: *look confused*
Andrew: “Haha, thanks!”
me: *doubletake* “Sam… are you in a play too?”
Sam: *laughs* “No, sorry…” *laughs*
Randomness…
I got a gummy worm in Mr. K’s room (as I quizzed out — this was the candy quiz). My team wanted me to share it with them. Now did David inform me of this before I took a bite of it? *sigh* No. Gross.
I managed to sit at an extremely “mature” table — there were no adults. That is, I guess Samwise and I were the oldest ones there (which, to be perfectly honest, means that I was the oldest one there) and it was rather crazy. Loud and headache-inducing and crazy… and fun. There was glitter all over the table. Then people discovered that if you blew on it, you could get it all over the other people at the table. Boy. Thanks. Or on their plates. Or in their cups. The glitter was sticky, too… I got it on my hands and had to scrape it off with a plastic knife. 
Samwise remembered from last year that you can catapult things across the table at people with your plastic forks. He and David had knife-catapulting necklaces. The rest of us had ducking contests, not wanting to end up looking like the pirate with the wooden eye on Pirates of the Caribbean.
David, being bored, opened a package of butter and ate it raw. I refrained from gagging, grabbed the rest of the butter, and gave it to Molly (who was at the next table) for safekeeping. She is a lifesaver. I figured that after she controlled her team of little boys this year and they took third place overall, she would understand why I had to get the butter away from the guys at my own table.
Lizzie said she doesn’t get angry. I said, “Oh yeah? Hey Lizzie! Pete and Repeat were in a boat…”
Lizzie: “AARRRRRGGGGGGH!!!!” *picks up her fork with murderous intent*
This led to me saying that I’d really like to see something about Pete and Repeat were at a quiz on our shirts for next year.
Samwise: “Bartholomew and Rebartholomew were in a boat…”
me: o_O “I don’t think that quite works.”
When we went up to make our graduating senior speeches (which I did not cry at, aren’t you proud of me?) I randomly moved my foot. Er, tried moving my foot. It was stuck to the floor. I tried this several more times and there was definitely some kind of attraction going between the floor of the gym and my foot. (That is quite possibly why I didn’t cry… I was far too distracted.) Finally I whispered to Samwise (so that he wouldn’t think that I had gone completely off the deep end as I kept doing what Mom says looked like a dance scene from Hitchhiker’s Guide — the one with Zaphod and Ford), “My feet are sticking to the floor.” Sam, being extremely loyal as he is, tried it for himself. He looked at me with some surprise as his own foot stuck.
Thank goodness. I thought that I had gone bananas there for a minute.
Let’s see. There are quite a few other things but I’ll mention two more for now…
1) I did almost start crying when we were watching the video with pictures and movie from the last year of quizzing. Something about it saying “Class of 08″ made the whole graduating thing seem real in a way which it hasn’t been up to this point. Thank God (and I do not say that irreverently, but with “the utmost of intent”) for friends and laughter. Samwise started laughing so much at the pictures of himself in his cowboy hat that I couldn’t help it, and, well, it is difficult to laugh and cry at the same time. So I laughed.
2) I also vastly appreciated Johnny D making a challenge for me. Especially given the fact that we have managed to exasperate each other quite a bit on the issue of challenges over the last few years. I pointed out that I had, for once, agreed with him on a challenge. He and I acted as if we were going to die out of shock at this and that was a lot of fun. And the challenge was upheld (so the answer was ruled correct, after all) and that was nice, but the whole thing was just awesome.
The Trip, Part One March 28, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you, I won't keep things purposely vague , 3commentsSaturday, March 15
We left home and drove, and drove, and drove. By 3:45, we were seeing the beautiful and majestic blue mountains of Virginia. And forests which looked as if orcs had been through. We also saw quite a few deer, who were all facing the wrong way for pictures. Either that, or I didn’t have my camera out. Of course. Murphy’s Law of Cameras. We then proceeded to get sadly lost as it was raining, but finally got to Staunton. We had dinner and got lost again looking for the OPC. It doesn’t work to well when you have actually mapquested the directions from your hotel to the Wal*Mart. Oops. Anyway, we got back in time for the Andy Griffith show. We love Barney Fife. Oh yes.
Sunday, March 16
We went to church in Staunton, which was lovely. (Yes, we found it! Don’t look so surprised!) We were (I’m not joking, and if you’re OPC, you ought to understand) the second people there even though we were only five minutes early. Ohhh yeah. But it worked out alright. In fact, we had a wonderful time after church with two of the kids — a brother (about a year younger than me) and his sister (about a year older). Almost everyone at the church said something like, “Oh! You must be our visitors from ________! We’ve heard all about you!” *wondering WHAT exactly they have heard about us* Sunday school was from Calvin’s Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life, the sermon was on Revelation 17.
Then we went to the pastor’s house for dinner. That was also lovely! We had a grand time with his three girls (and their dog), going on a long after-dinner walk. We tried what I’m coming to believe is the typical activity for OPC kids… singing hymns loudly (if rather off key) on our walk… sound familiar, anyone? But none of us could remember more than one verse, so we gave up. Our walk became so long that we started to wonder if we were going the whole way back to our house or what! But we did finally turn around and head for home (well, not home for us, I suppose). It took a much longer time to get back then it had to reach the point where we turned around, because we all kept freezing in place every few steps. 
Unfortunately, when us foot-sore and weary walkers did get back (well, okay, our feet weren’t that sore. We had switched out of church shoes into sneakers!) it was time for us to be leaving. The good news was, that meant heading for Williamsburg!
So, for your enjoyment, some conversations/quotes.
Background: Andrew had been insulting our state.
me: “Well, your squirrels are STUPID! They just sit in the middle of the road!”
Andrew: *smiles and nods* “Yeah, they probably are stupider. So our our neighbor’s dogs. They lay around in the middle of the road.”
me: “At least our squirrels aren’t that stupid. They tend to get off the road when a car comes, not sit there.”
Anne: *begins listening*
Andrew: “They probably learned from experience.”
me: “Mm, yeah, probably.” *blink* “ANDREW! How can you learn from experience when it involves being hit by trucks?!?”
Anne: “WHAT?”
Andrew: “It probably comes from seeing all your friends and relatives hit and killed.”
Anne: “What are you TALKING about?”
me: “Ohh… hmm. Maybe.”
Anne: “WHAT are you talking about?”
us: *laugh*
Andrew: (finally taking pity on her!) “Squirrels.”
Anne: “Protozoa are so cute!”
Elizabeth: “So what is normal, anyway?”
me: “I do not like nail polish…”
Elizabeth: “Me neither!”
me: “…my fingernails feel like they’re suffocating! Which everyone else finds strange!”
Elizabeth: “It feels too thick… no, it doesn’t feel good.”
Finally! Someone who understands me!
Elizabeth: “Oh, no!”
me: “What?”
Elizabeth: “Someone cut from the wrong side of the butter. Again.”
Ruth: “DADDY!”
Elizabeth: “It is most uncouth of him.”
me: *burying face in napkin*
Back to the story of the trip:
Everyone should get to drive towards Colonial Williamsburg after a day full of church and fellowship, friendship and laughter, with the sun shining through the trees on Palm Sunday.
But as wonderful as it can be, no where on earth is really home for us. So I look forward to another Homecoming; one which will truly be home, which won’t mean saying goodbye to other Christians, in which there will be no darkness at all. When the Last Battle shall be won. But I look forward to it in eager expectation, while enjoying the good gifts of God here.
Laughter is good for you, right? March 7, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 3comments[This was supposed to be posted last night, but reformedblogs went bananas. Oh well.]Â
Last night the guys were running around in the gym.
me:Â “Samwise, it’s fun to watch you all being crazy with the football.”
Sam: “Really?” *look of mild agony [is that an oxymoron?]* “I drank too much ….”
What I heard:Â wine.
What he said:Â ‘wian… punch.
That took me a minute to figure out.
Sam L sent me a picture of when he was a baby. He’s sitting in a paper bag. I have no idea why. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in ages, though. His description: “im in like a bag haha“ Haha is right. I laughed so hard that Ibey came down from where he had been supposedly asleep to see what was so funny.Â
Ben B, who was going for the Sounds-Most-Like-A-Fortune-Cookie award said to me:Â
New experience happen to us all the time.
They make life exciting.
Seriously. Couldn’t he get a job writing fortunes? Well, probably not a good occupation for a Calvinist. Rats.
Christine remembered to send me a Garfield comic. With one pathetic snow-thing (not really a flake) falling and Garfield saying, “Great. Now I’ll be stuck here till the snowplows come.” It would not have been as funny before I had friends in warmer states.Â
And I’m re-reading A Severe Mercy, which is one of the greatest books I’ve ever read. It makes me laugh. And cry.Â
And I really had been planning to do a more serious post, but after Sam’s picture it was not going to work out tonight. My apologies to anyone who was really terribly disappointed; feel free to read some of the old ones.Â
And finally, much as I dislike some of Relient K’s songs, the one which goes “I just wasted ten seconds of your life” amuses me immensely.
Goodnight, and God bless you. I enjoy the comments, I enjoy posting, and yes, I enjoy laughing.
Quiz-ness March 1, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , add a commentSomeone… (one of the other quizzer’s dads, maybe?): “What are you, ready for war?”
I’ve been wearing blue war paint to quizzes now for three years!
Samwise and Andrew decided to do a “suit quiz”. Meaning they wore suits. Samwise, Andrew, and Caleb decided to do a “Mexico hat quiz” — I’m assuming that you can figure out what that one means :). It was an… interesting combination.
me: “Arika!”
Arika: “ANNYYYYYYAAAAA!”
me: “AAAAH! No! Don’t run at me while you’re holding a pot of boiling water!!!!”
me: *helping Peter study* *climbs up into the volleyball tower*
Peter: “What are you doing??? WHY are you up there?”
me: “I’m tall!!!!”
Peter: “No, you are not tall.”
me: “I FEEL tall!!!!!”
Peter: *walks away shaking head*
[This next conversation involves the Other Peter — the one from a different church.]
me: *blinkblink* “You’re wearing a kilt!”
Peter: “What?”
me: “It’s a kilt quiz!”
Peter: “Oh. Yeah.”
Abby: “He forgot his bagpipes though.”
Griffin: *talking to me for what must have been at least the second time this morning* “– and see, Anya! I am acknowledging your presence and our relationship!” [Sorry, Griffin, I know that was not a word-perfect quote.]
me: “I think… you may… have killed me.” *falls over backwards* (which sort of hurt!)
Peter: “WHY are you fainting?”
me: “Because Griffin acknowledged the fact that we know each other!!!”
Peter: “Why would ANYone faint over Griffin???”
me: *standing back up* *not sure if I should look at Griffin or totally avoid eye contact for the rest of the day* “Peter!”
Peter: “REALLY!”
Griffin: “That was –”
me: “I apologize for his manners.”
Griffin: “Dude, that was totally uncalled for.”
me: “I don’t know what to do with him.”
us: *walk away*
Samwise, David, and… some other guy from our church: *go galloping past in a sort of horse imitation*
me: *talking to Bethany (from another church)* “I… do… not… know… them.”
(she obviously knows that I do know them)
Mr. D: *as Joanna and Johnny walk in* “Alright. Question number seven will be a tossup for team three and — wow, you guys are late, it’s okay, you still have time — question number seven –”
Johnny D: *sliding into his seat* “Are you SERIOUS???? JOANNA! We’re late! Are you SERIOUS! You started without us???”
Mr. D: *nods*
Johnny: *looks at the rest of us quizzers* “Did you START???”
Anna: “Yep.”
Johnny: “Augh, man.”
Mr. D: “No, we’re teasing you. We didn’t start.”
Johnny: “WHEW.”
Alex: “I would like to challenge that because [explains all the reasons] so it should have been a chapter verse reference, not just a chapter reference.”
Mr. O’D: “Um… it was.”
Alex: “It was?”
me: “Yes… but thank you anyway, that was very kind of you!”
*standing around listening to Arika and Griffin talk*
Arika: *waves hand and knocks over a floral arrangement*
us: O_o
Griffin: *goes diving for it and picks it up*
me: *picks up the other pieces* “AAAAAAH! It’s a dead hummingbird!”
everyone else: *starts laughing*
me: *some sort of mourning noise*
[And Miss Dance believes that the floral arrangement was set up backwards. She’d notice that sort of thing… I, obviously, don’t.]
Aaron — you know, the Aaron who supplies music for his team (more about that in this post) — was not able to do that today! His batteries died! It was sad.
We should have gotten t-shirts today which say: “Josh is NOT HERE. He is at a basketball tournament.” Many people asked. Including several of our own coaches.
Mr. K: “Quote Colossians 3:20.”
me: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.”
Mr. K: “Repeat that please.”
me: “Um… Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.”
Mr. K: “Say it again, please.”
me: *trying to figure out if I’m messing it up, or if he is just messing with me* “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.”
Mr. K: “I LOVE that verse! Say it again. Put the emphasis on ‘obey’.”
me: *gritting teeth* “Children, OBEY your–”
Mr. K: “Okay, you may sit down now.” (Sometimes 20 points is not enough.)
*to the other parents* “That is my favorite verse in the whole Bible!”
Peter: “Actually, I like the next verse better.”
Mr. K: “What is the next verse?”
me: “Fathers, do not embitter–”
Mr. K: “Umm, no. Nevermind. I think that is a very bad translation of the Greek.”
me: *GLARE* “Would you like me to bring my Greek New Testament to the next quiz???”
Mr. K: “Never mind. Next question!”
[Okay, and in conclusion to this long and random post, and in conclusion to the whole Griffin-acknowledging-that-he-knew-me, I had put this up on my AIM
What do you know? I exist! My presence has been acknowledged!
Griffin: This message makes me feel good about myself.]
So even if 20 points isn’t enough, making someone else feel good is pretty high up there.
Goodnight!
It was the kind of night that we laughed, pretty much whatever happened. February 28, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 1 comment so farAt youth group, of course!Â
me:Â *is compelled to bash head into something*Â *picks up pillow and begins banging head into it*
Alicia (across the room):Â *cracks up*
Richard (beside me):Â *cracks up*
me:Â *decides to set pillow down before anyone else sees what I’m doing*
Mr. K: “Oh, Anya, sorry. Did you have something to say?”
me:Â *laughing*Â *shakes head*
Mr. K: “Really! It’s okay! Go ahead!”
me:Â *laughing even harder*Â “No, I wasn’t saying anything.”
Samwise:Â *puzzled look*
Alicia:Â *laughing*
Christine:Â “Anya, your face is turning RED.”
me: “Ask Alicia. I didn’t have anything to say.”
Alicia: “No, she didn’t.” *cracks up*
Samwise:Â *gives me a puzzled look*
*we move on*
Mr. K: “So what if you had to confront someone about something? How would you do it?”
David:Â “Probably text-message.”
everyone:Â o_O
Mr. K:Â “Um, isn’t that a little impersonal?”
Peter:Â *comes in, proudly showing off his eight or so pencils*
me: “Wow. I am very proud of you.” *shakes head*
Richard:Â *looks at it*Â *shakes head*Â “I am not even going to say anything.”
me: “You took the words right out of my mouth. I wasn’t going to ask.”
Peter:Â *shows the pencils to Miss Dance*
Richard:Â “Just don’t say anything!”
her:Â “Um… whatever.”
During our lesson, Richard and I heard this loud noise coming from outside the room. We looked at each other, and then at the door as Miss Dance opened it and stuck her head in. When she realized that we weren’t done yet, she quickly shut it after looking rather shocked. As I’m sure you all could guess, Richard and I laughed.Â
Christine:Â “Sam, I got lost driving to your house today!!!”
Samwise:Â O_o
me:Â “Yes, she started IM’ing me and was like ‘I’m lost!!!’”
Samwise: “AAAAH! Turn that off! Um, Christine, how were you driving to our house?”
me:Â “On a map—”
Christine: “On the weather channel website. But I GOT LOST!!!!”
me:Â “Samwise, how do you think that handprint got on the ceiling?”
Sam:Â *looks at it*Â “Well, I remember when I was in 7th grade, and we used to have youth group in here, and I’d be in front, and the people in the back would stand on chairs…”
me: “Um… yeah. I was here then. In fact, I was one of the people standing on chairs.”
Sam: “Oh. You were?”
Samwise:Â “The… um… something principles of the world.”
me:Â “The non-acidic!”
Sam:Â *laughs*
me: “You don’t know what six to the seventh power is???? What kind of math/science person are you?”
Sam:Â *shrugs and gives up on the problem*
Oh yes, there was also the incident of Lizzie scooping snow off the windowsill to throw at Peter during quiz practice… *evil grin*
Miss Dance:Â *gives Peter as hard of a high-five as she possibly can*
Peter:Â *doesn’t react*
Miss Dance: “OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!” *begins blowing on her hand*
Sam and I:Â *crack up*
Reading joke books February 17, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 5commentsNo, it’s not my hobby. But Miss Dance has been known to do it. She decided that she needed to because she does not “get” jokes particularly quickly.
Annnnnyway… it has become pretty clear that there are non-joke things which she also does not get. (And before I go any further, I ought to explain that I do have her permission to post this and she is a bright girl. Some lightbulbs just take a while to warm up, ya know?)
The other day, for Valentine’s Day, Dad got Mom a dozen feather roses. Please don’t tell me that you have forgotten the feather roses. Unless that is seriously the best comment which you can think of to leave. *sighs* They were those roses, from that same store. (Speaking of not finding jokes funny, the proprietress didn’t seem to find the “polygamist special” amusing. But I digress.) So. Mom was very, erm, impressed with the roses.
“They smell,” she pronounced, “like dead birds.”
Elpinoine ignored this with as great skill as she has in this area (and it’s considerable.) She said that they smelled like something else, but I don’t remember what… fruit or something…nice… but then she also brought down her strawberries’n'cream shimmery body spray which I gave her for Christmas and offered to spritz them. I told her No. She giggled and took it away.Â
I think Miss Dance just sort of gushed over them, about how nice they smelled and how sweet it was of Dad to get them, etc, etc, etc. We discussed the feather roses for a few minutes and then went on to other things. (Better things?)
Later on that night, Miss Dance came into the kitchen.
“I’VE GOT IT!” she shrieked, in the same tone in which Eureka was probably originally said. “THE ROSES ARE MADE OF FEATHERS!!!!!”
Dad, Mom and I:Â *blink*Â *blinkblink*
her: “THEY’RE MADE OF FEATHERS!!!!!!!! I JUST FIGURED THAT OUT!!!!”
us: *smash heads into nearest wall* [okay, that’s an exaggeration. But not by much.]
her: *very satisfied with herself* “That’s why you were calling them feather roses! They’re made out of FEATHERS!!!”
What on earth are you supposed to say to that?
Then tonight in the car on the way home from church we began discussing names. I forget exactly how it started, but Mom pointed out to her that she is the one who has claimed to want to name a kid “Dingbat”. (She thinks it’s cute.)
Miss Dance: “Hey! ANYA is the one who has names like Israel –no no not Israel” [although I like that one fine too] “– Zion and AtlantIS!”
me:Â “And Luther.”
her: “BLEGH. Well, Luther’s not so bad…”
Ibey:Â “And Knox.”
Miss Dance: “See???? KNOX! What did I tell you! KNOX! That’s, like, an OLD-FASHIONED name! KNOX!”
Mom:Â “Who’s there?”
Miss Dance:Â “KNOX!!!”
Elpinoine:Â *begins knocking on the window*
Miss Dance:Â “KNOX!!!!!!”
Mom:Â “Who’s there?”
Ibey:Â “Knox who?”
me:Â “Knock knock…”
Miss Dance:Â “KNOX!!!!“
*a minute later*
her: “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GET IT!!! KNOX!! Like, like, KNOCKS! Like K-N-O-C-K-S!!!!!!!! And who said I was slow to get jokes?????”
Quotes… February 13, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 3commentsSamwise: “Well, it’s kind of superficial…”
Mr. K: “We’re into superficial.”
Samwise: *explains*
Matt: “Okay STOP. My head hurts.”
Sean: “I think my head just blew up. I can’t tell because of the hair.”
Mr. K: “That was not superficial enough.”
“Can we get a definition of reproach?”
“What is temperance?”
“What’s hospitality?”
Mr. K: “I was afraid that I was going to have to define prodigal.”
me: *points at Bryan*
Bryan: “I don’t know what it means…”
Sean: “What is ‘the trustworthy message’?”
everyone: *turns around and gives Sean a shocked look*
someone: “The BIBLE!!!”
Sean: “Oh.”
Mr. K: “So if we disagreed about what color to stain the doors… wait… Anya, give me a bigger controversial issue.”
me: “Predestination.”
Mr. K: “Um…”
(What did he think that I was going to say?)
And then Liz — yes, my dear sweet Elizabeth, the sister of Samwise — killed me. I was watching the people in the sanctuary sing (well, okay, I was listening to them sing) and every time Lizzie walked past she told me to be quiet. Finally she walked past and made the throat-slashing motion. I fell dramatically to the floor. Lizzie went into the library, so I decided to try scaring her. She was on the other side of the bookshelf. Fortunately, there is a strategically placed picture. The glass reflects. I watched her for a few minutes. Then, when the Opportune Moment came, I crept around the bookshelf and yelled (semi-quietly) something like “BWAH!!! ELIZABETH!”
She jumped.
Actually, she more of rocketed.
And yelled at me.
I explained that I had been watching her in the glass.
Lizzie: “So what was I doing?”
me: “You were looking at the books. But before that, you had been looking at a book, and then you put it back on the shelf –”
Lizzie: O_O “You were here that WHOLE TIME??? WHY?”
me: “You killed me!!!”
I don’t think it works that way… February 12, 2008
Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 1 comment so farOverheard while Dad was teaching Elpinoine to play Pinochle.
Dad: *takes her queen* “Now you can’t marry them. Because he was already married to her!”
Elpinoine:Â *thinks*Â “But he can get DIVORCED!”
