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Flames and Opera August 8, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration , 2comments

Apparently someone got the bright idea that if I die, I won’t be able to go to college.  My pastor immediately set to work on this plan, going for the “spoiling to death” plan.Tonight he and his wife took me out to dinner!  It was lovely.  (No straw papers being blown at me from the direction of Ibey.  No knives being leveled at me with machine gun noises coming, once again, from the direction of Ib.)  There was a fire though.  And I jumped.  (Who wouldn’t jump when their dessert goes up in flames?  Okay, I knew that it was going to go up in flames, but I didn’t know that the flames would be five feet high.)I was laughed at, too.  :)  Then we went to their house and ended up watching Phantom of the Opera.  Our pastor’s wife was thinking of movies to watch.  ”We could watch Facing the Giants or Amazing Grace,” she suggested.”Um…” I said.  ”I think that we still have your Amazing Grace sitting in our cupboard.”So that wasn’t going to work.It was a good movie… rather dark and scary, heavy on symbolism, but great singing and pretty fun to analyze (more straightforward than, say, Matrix).That reminds me… I think I’m going to do a post on things homeschoolers could sue over.  But that’s not very related.Anyway.  It was a lovely night.   I felt like a princess.But I don’t think I’m going to the opera any time soon.  :) 

The Real August 7, 2008

Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 5comments

A while ago we were at a party.  It was, to put it mildly, an odd party.  Or maybe it wasn’t so much the party which was odd as the people.  Or maybe it wasn’t that the people were odd, but that we were odd.

That seems like a highly likely possibility.

Franky Schaeffer wrote a book called Addicted to Mediocrity, but this party didn’t even seem to reach the level of mediocrity.  More like misery.  Almost all the conversation was about who was seeing who, who’s getting a divorce, whose children behave worse in kindergarden, who ought to be getting a divorce…

I have rarely (if ever) been so glad to leave a party.  And I felt sort of like a snob.  Did I just want to escape back to my own little bubble of — well, maybe I shouldn’t call it sophistication — but something more like L’Abri or Imladris — somewhere where I have the hope of interesting and intense conversation with people who have interests?  Am I like the princess in fairy tales who has no conception of what the “real world” is like and flees back to her ivory tower at the first rainstorm?  

But maybe that’s not the whole story. 

What if the real-ness wasn’t what most people thought it was?  What if the true reality was something higher and grander and more glorious?  Not just in a Matrix sort of paranoid way, but in a more C.S.Lewisian way of “Higher up and further in”.  Of a holiday at the ocean, rather than sitting in the slums making mud pies?

What if the reality — the way that things were supposed to be, and will one day be — is more like Rivendell?  What if it is fellowship and beauty and recreation… re-creation?  

It’s probably a good thing for me to feel incredibly out of place every now and then.  In fact, it would probably be a good thing for me to feel that way all the time.  I’m not so much an exile as someone in a foreign land — like Abraham, but looking forward to a heavenly city.  Because my citizenship is there.

…I’ve seen too much

But I can’t go back

Back to how it was

Created for a place

I’ve never known

This is home

Now I’m finally

Where I belong

Where I belong

Yeah, this is home

I’ve been searching

For a place of my own

Now I’ve found it

Yeah, this is home

Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery

I’ve seen the enemy

And I won’t go back

Back to how it was

And I’ve got my heart

Set on

What happens next

I’ve got my eyes wide

And it’s not over yet

We are miracles

And we’re not alone…

[Switchfoot, This is Home] 

Gareth August 4, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 2comments

I forgot to mention how much fun I had with Gareth at camp.  It’s a lovely thing to say things to him which he can’t refute and then stand there watching his head spin. One night we were discussing Vulcans.  I don’t remember how that came to be, but there it was.  (I think it had something to do with wondering if their blood would be magnetic… but… like I said… I don’t remember.)  I was going on and on about this and finally Gareth mentioned that, actually, he really doesn’t think that there ARE Vulcans.  I reminded him that it is awfully difficult to prove absolute/universal statements.  He conceded the point but stubbornly maintained the position that he really doesn’t think that there are Vulcans.Then one time he and I were waiting for something and plotting to kill Noah J, who had seriously annoyed us by yanking the bottom out of Connect Four twice the night before.  *sigh*  But I think that Gareth was going to make me do the murder and he would be an innocent conspirator.  I said that of course I’d kill him, I am totally depraved after all.Gareth’s eyes got huge.He almost fell off the bench in his shock.Then, after a minute, he almost fell off the bench again from laughter.”Anya,” he gasped, “you are not supposed to use that as an excuse.  It’s not a good thing.”I shrugged.”I have never before heard that used as a defense.  It’s a theological doctrine, not a — not an excuse!!!”Oops.Noah did escape, though.  We didn’t try the death-by-water-balloons approach or anything.   

Shanghaied August 2, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 2comments

I had a weird dream last night. I think that I’ll blame it on Abby, who is the queen of weird dreams (well, maybe she and Mom are tied on this issue) and the Bonanza episode which we watched last night. I mean, seriously.  I’m quite sure that I wouldn’t have been dreaming about being Shanghaied if we hadn’t watched that episode. Anyway, we (and as usual, we is not very specifically defined) were in K-Mart, looking for school supplies, I think.  Next thing I knew we were being pushed around in what looked like a dark, large version of our ice-rink.  It was time  to be sailor-ized.  Order number one of the day apparently was getting all of us trained in how to do the proper song and dance.  It was like a demented Gilbert and Sullivan thing.  There was a giant ship set, except it was only the front of the ship.  It was in one of the room that is normally covered in ice.  And there were big blue circles of light around it, spinning… I guess that they were supposed to be the waves… but it was making me dizzy just looking at it!  And then we were supposed to dance in circles around this.Oh yes, Mom reminded me… Arby came into this dream somehow.  Perhaps he was the one Shanghaiing us…Anyway, I got dizzy and rather fed up with the entire thing, and decided to try going on out of the door, as no one seemed to be guarding it.  Out I went into the hallway.  I found Antion out there, looking unhappy, so I asked him if he wanted to run away with me.He gave me a despairing and disparaging glance and gloomily said something about trying the next door down… I know that we had some really snappy conversation that I thought would make a great blog entry, but, of course, I can’t remember it now.So it goes. 

Two Quick Quotes from Camp July 31, 2008

Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , add a comment

Both of these quotes shed a little light on why I love the people at camp so much.

#1.  Caleb had a headache.  One of the other kids was saying that if he had a headache, he would get out of coming to missions class. 

Caleb:  “I’d rather have a headache and be here than not have a headache and not be here.”

#2.  This one guy — Charles C — is pretty much perpetually cheery.  And thoughtful.  He never seems to run out of questions.  He was walking around on Thursday with a huge grin and his face and Mom asked him how he was doing.

Charles said, enthusiastically, “I’m doing GREAT!!!!”

Mom:  “What are your top three reasons?”

Charlie:  “Well… number one, God is good!  And number too, I’m at camp!  And number three… our skit rocks!!”

I want that to be my answer as well… for the rest of my life… no matter what else is going on… that the number one reason influencing how I think I’m doing is the goodness of God.

If God is for us, who can be against us?

The Word of God July 29, 2008

Posted by Anya in : I won't keep things purposely vague , 1 comment so far

God is good.  I was looking at Agent Tim’s blog on Sunday and found this post.  Ouch.

Unfortunately I can’t look at Tim and say My gracious, what an ungrateful guy.  That is, I guess that I could, but it would not be a very astute thing to do since I take a lot more than clothes for granted.  And not just for granted, but I think of them as a duty… as a nuisance, at time.  Andrew C said it as well as I could ever hope to.

…It bothers me that I struggle to read my Bible on a daily basis, when there are those who would give their right arm for even a page of this, God’s Holy Word…My ingratitude flies in my face, accusing me, condemning me with charges I cannot answer to, charges of not living as the Son of the Kingdom that I am. My head is in the right place, but my heart drifts, viewing life through a skewed and twisted telescope, filling my life with trivial things that don’t actually matter. It’s time to grow up, to move on, to shove off all these damned things within myself that are pulling me down, holding me back, keeping me away from God. I want to hunger for Him, I want to live for Him, give myself to Him, but in all this I am my own worst enemy. 

[Andrew C, on this post, which I know that I’ve quoted quite a few times.]

The Bible is an amazing book.  Really.  When I actually take the time to think about what I am doing, I’m overwhelmed when I pick it up. I am holding God’s Word.  In my own hands.  These pieces of paper, with little black marks on them, convey to me what the God Who created me says.

That is something that I don’t deserve.  How many people have done (and still do) crazy things to try to hear from God?  Whether it’s people getting high on drugs or getting involved in fortune telling, or ancient peoples offering other humans — even their own children — as sacrifices to try to please the gods, or the Baal worshippers dancing around and cutting themselves in hopes of hearing from their god, their practices have always been more than ineffectual; they’ve been harmful.

And then there’s me.I was working on a song three months ago when I was re-reading The Great Divorce (and, I think, some of Eliot’s poetry) and wrote,
I begin to get the impression
That you really just don’t understand
This one journey you may find
That you are called to leave behind
Your right eye, your right hand
And have we ever sacrificed anything?
And what have we ever given?

If I literally had to give my hand or eye to get God’s Word, the price would not merit the reward.  But I haven’t been called to do even that.  What have I ever given — to deserve God’s Word?

Nothing.

Instead of me doing anything to earn the privilege of having God’s Word constantly accessible, it was given to me.  Other people died so that I could have it, and have it in English, but it was given to me.

So it stuns me when I realize that I am taking it for granted.

The Bible has to look like a pretty foolish thing in the eyes of the world. 

Looking out from His throne
The Father of light and of men
Chose to make Himself known
And show us the way back to Him

Speaking wisdom and truth
Into the hearts of peasants and kings
He began to unveil
The Word that would change the course of all things

With eyes wide open all would see

The Word is alive
And it cuts like a sword through the darkness
With a message of life to the hopeless and afraid
Breathing life into all who believe

The Word is alive
And the world and its glories will fade
But His truth it will not pass away
It remains yesterday and forever the same
The Word is alive

Simple strokes on a page
Eternity’s secrets revealed
Carried on from age to age
It speaks truth to us even still

As the rain falls from heaven
Feeds the earth before it returns
Lord, let your Word fall on us
And bring forth the fruit You deserve

With eyes wide open let us see

The Word is alive
And it cuts like a sword through the darkness
With a message of life to the hopeless and afraid
Breathing life into all who believe

The Word is alive
And the world and its glories will fade
But His truth it will not pass away
It remains yesterday and forever the same
The Word is alive

The Bible was inscribed over a period of 2000 years
In times of war and in days of peace
By kings, physicians, tax collectors, farmers, fishermen, singers and shepherds
The marvel is that a library so perfectly cohesive
Could have been produced by such a diverse crowd
Over a period of time which staggers the imagination
Jesus is its grand subject our good is its design and the glory of God is its end

The Word is alive
And it cuts like a sword through the
a message of life to the hopeless and afraid
Breathing life into all who believe
[Casting Crowns, The Word is Alive]

But when I was writing this post, I wasn’t listening to Casting Crowns.  I was listening to Jars of Clay, which has some fantastic stuff.  And so I began thinking about the Bible in relation to Jars of Clay’s verse — II Corinthians 4:7. 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 

By an odd coincidence (heavy on the sarcasm, there), that verse is part of one of my favorite passages (II Corinthians 3-4).

Anyway, I had always thought about that verse before as referring to God living in us.  We are “jars of clay”, made from the dust.

But it really applies to the Bible too.  It’s God’s Word, delivered to us in a way which seems very frail.  Especially if you think about things like the library at Alexandria, and how easily books can be totally destroyed and lost forever.  And, in another one of those odd little “coincidences”, the Dead Sea Scrolls were found in clay jars.So today, I will not take what I have in the Bible for granted.  At least, not as much.  Another piece of the grace of God, breaking in to overwhelm my heart.

A Bit More… July 27, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration , 3comments

I don’t quite know where to start.

Last night I gave you a link to Peter’s post; today I’ll link you to the Rebelution’s post about the conference.  It’s short.

The material from the conference is something that you’ll find if you read the blog, join the forums, and read Do Hard Things.  It’s a simple message (our standard is to be holy as God is holy, our mission is to do our utmost for His glory), but it was good to hear it another way.  A very memorable way.  It’s easy for me to take the blog and even the forums for granted.  But this conference kind of exploded in your face.  Which was a good thing.

As Peter said, meeting other people from the forums was incredible.  It was, frankly, a bit awkward.  But it was so much fun, especially after getting past some of the initial awkwardness and just being able to talk, realizing that we did know each other, actually!

And it was cool to get to actually meet Alex and Brett, and Josh (and James and Isaac and Joel).  And David K, and Agent Tim (even if it took a LOT of pressure to get him to sign my autograph book).  And… um… oh yes!  Josh!  From youth group!  I had no clue that he was going.  He shrugged.

Reb in Short July 26, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, I won't keep things purposely vague , 1 comment so far

Today was the Reb conference.

I have 25 pages of notes. Seriously.

And I’m tired.

And that’s all I have to say right now. If you want to know a bit more, go read The Real Tangent.  He did a good job summing it up.

Goodnight.  :)

More Quotes from Camp July 21, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you , 3comments

The girls in our cabin gave each other code names.

Abby:  “Purple, are you there?”

…at another point:

Abby:  “Purple?  Purple!  HEY!  PURPLE!  LAUREN!!!!”

Kinda like the “code names” on Raising Arizona.  “Y’all hear that?  We’re usin’ CODE NAMES!”

~~~

Katelyn: “Say Twizzler!”

Benjamin:  “I can but I won’t.”

Katelyn:  “If you say Twizzler, you can play.”

Christian:  “Twizzler.”

Katelyn:  “Louder.”

Christian:  “Twizzler.”

Katelyn:  “LOUDER!”

Christian:  “No.  Oh, alright.  TWIZZLER!!!”

*he and Benjamin play Connect Four*

Benjamin, by the way, explained this to me in case I hadn’t caught the significance.  “They think it’s hilarious, because they say Twizzler and we say Twizzlah.“

Yep.

~~~

Anna, after calling Lauren Laurel.  “It sounds like a super-hero — Super-Laurel!”

~~~

Charles C, giving another long and detailed answer:  “…and–”

Jonathan:  “Yes!  Okay!  Stop there!”

*laughter and more laughter*

~~~

Jonathan:  “What’s someone who’s more than a conqueror?”

someone:  “Vikings!”

~~~

Ben M, upon inspecting me in the morning:  “That’s a new shirt!”

me:  “Did you really think that I only brought one shirt??”

Ben:  “I knew that you brought at least two…”

me:  “…That was the diplomatic answer.”

~~~

Pastor O:  “Do you know what cabin you’re in?”

Ben M:  “Yes sir.”

Pastor O:  “Do you know who your counselor is?”

Ben:  “Yes sir.”

me:  “Do you know what your name is?”

Ben:  “Yes si– ma’am — *laughs*”

Later on…

Ben M:  *with indignant amusement*  “I called her MA’AM!”

~~~

Jonathan:  “When you point at someone, how many fingers are pointing back at you?”

someone:  “Four.”

Jonathan:  *clears throat*  “I guess it depends how you hold your fingers.”

~~~

“These hills are too slippery for sneaking around.” ~ Zach, after sliding down part of one and more or less crashing into a tree while he was trying to sneak up on me.

“If you ever watch the Transformers movie, don’t.” ~ Ben M.

“I am Barack Obama, and I approve what I just said.” ~ Chucky, doing an ad during their hilarious skit.

“I’m gonna, too!” ~ Jacob F’s answer when I proposed his doing various things, from remembering my name next year to becoming a surgeon. 

“Yeah, totally.” ~ Evan’s auto-reply, once he had decided that it was more or less safe to talk to me.

“Oh… I just lost my brain.” ~ Jonathan

~~~

For a bit of back story on this next one, the guys’ on our team’s skit was a CSI show, and Jacob was the surgeon.  He was not the type of surgeon you’d like to have.  He was more the type that you’d like to run from, screaming.

Anyway, Evan and Jacob and I were talking about it afterwards, and I was teasing Jacob about becoming a surgeon.

Jacob:  “I’m gonna, too!”

Evan:  “You’d be a perfect surgeon.  You look like one now.  Just don’t change at all.  Leave everything the way it is.  Don’t gain weight, don’t lose weight, don’t change your body shape, don’t do anything to your face.  Don’t smile, don’t frown; it could give you wrinkles.  Drink lots of coffee so that you don’t grow any.”

me:  “No!  Don’t drink lots of coffee!  It will mess up your brain!”

Jacob:  “What are you saying?  Huh?  What?  Are you saying that my brain isn’t already messed up?  Huh?” *grins*  “Just kidding!”

me:  “Oh okay.  Drinking too much coffee will destroy the few remaining brain cells that Jacob has left.”

Jacob:  “Thanks!”

It’s hard to please some people.

Camp I July 20, 2008

Posted by Anya in : spontaneous degeneration, smiling is good for you, I won't keep things purposely vague , 6comments

I started working on a post about camp last night, but I don’t think I’ll put it up. There is too much stuff to really post about it and give you any feeling that it was the whole story. Also, a lot of it won’t make sense unless you know a lot of the kids and are familiar with how the camp works.

Still, it was an amazing year and I want to tell you about it. So, in my trusty blue notebook, I made a list of the Really Incredible Things, the things that I’ll remember for a long time. Some are funny, some are serious, and it is not at all exhaustive. But here goes.

~Wednesday night with Gareth, Ben M, and Benjamin.

The popular game this year (as opposed to Dirt or Gaga) was Connect Four. One of the two little boys, who had just moved from England three weeks ago, was pretty much the Connect Four champ. That was Benjamin, aka H-Man. He’s eight. Wednesday night I played him (we each won one game), played Gareth, played Ben M, and then we stood around talking. Benjamin ate at least six brownies and two cartons of orange juice. His H-Man nickname was earned; he was quite hyper. But he had a wonderful accent. :) So Gareth and I (after, say, brownie no. 4) decided that he had had enough and I chased him into the dining hall to prevent further brownie consumption. It was unsuccessful but utterly hilarious. We just did a lot of talking and laughing that night. Benjamin cracked me up too (see, it was Wednesday; by that point we were laughing at anything) by completely re-setting up our game after Zach J pulled the bottom out of it.

~Thursday night was incredible too, and not because it was skit night. That is, the skits were amazing and some of them were hilarious, but that wasn’t the incredible part. This is going to take some backstory to explain, but it’s worth it.

The theme of camp this year was “Life in Christ” and it was astonishing how God drove that point home. Maybe I should have guessed that this year was going to be intense in ways that no other years were when Jessica died right before camp. Jessica had been our nurse at camp for several weeks; her dad is a pastor, and her brother was one of our speakers for the week. We knew that she was going to die (terminal cancer) but the timing was shaking. Her brother spoke anyway. His subject was Don’t Waste Your Life (yes, based largely on the book of the same title by John Piper). So there was that, and it was… I hesitate to say a shadow over camp, because it wasn’t really, but it was different. It pushed us to think about things a bit.

Thursday night made us think about what we were being taught much more. One of the guys who worked at the camp itself (not an OPC guy) had been found by Pastor O that afternoon sobbing his heart out. His step-dad had been killed that afternoon in a freak accident and the guy told us that they had never really talked about serious things at all, they had always been too busy having fun.

We prayed for him and went on up to dinner, thinking that he had gone home.

But he hadn’t gone home yet, and he was sitting on the deck crying.

A bunch of campers ended up sitting with him, praying for him, crying with him, but mostly just being there and being quiet with him.

Then after dinner, some campers made a card for him and got everyone to sign it.

He was blown away by the fact that these people, who were pretty much strangers to him, would care for him.

So he came and talked to us all a little more; talked to some of the pastors, and ended up getting hugged by everyone in camp.

That was amazing. Very hard, but definitely amazing.

~Tongue twisters in the craft hut with Zach, Jocelyn, Katie, and Evan.

We laughed so hard. Enough said. You had to be there, I think.

~Singing with the Juniors.

I got to teach them songs and motions, and that was a blast. Well, most of the time. Seriously though, it was a highlight of my week… I had such a great time with most of them and they learned a lot of verses.

~Singing with Julianne.

The last night I was in the shower house and started singing with It started out as a feeling and then I heard someone else singing which then grew into a hope so I shot back which then turned into a quiet thought and heard which then grew into a quiet word and then we sang together and then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry… I’ll come back when you call me; no need to say goodbye. Then I saw that it was Julianne, who was in my cabin anyway. It was a very good song for at the ending of camp, and it sounded lovely. :)

~Food fight on Friday night with Nathaniel and Evan.

It wasn’t much of a food fight, but the three of us had a grand time. I think Evan had his dinner spoiled the most, and they really didn’t do a thing to mine. Actually, the only thing which we really ruined was about two cups of kool-aid. It was so much fun. I think it all started with a dish of applesauce too…

~Singing with Ken M on Saturday morning.

He had done our music all week and yesterday morning he was sitting out on the porch playing guitar. I wandered over and we ended up singing Jars of Clay’s Flood and a Third Day song and DC Talk’s In the Light.

~Working on a relationship with one of the junior guys. It was incredible to see how God works in situations which I think are impossible, and lets me become friends with someone who I think will completely shut me out.

And now for some quotes. *evil grin*

*telling Evan (a first time 16 year old camper) about the year when I was Zach’s slave, i.e., he made me help him in the craft hut with all sorts of stuff*

Evan: O_o “You ARE brother and sister, right?”

me: “No. But everyone always thinks so.”

Evan: O_O “You’re not???”

~~~

Zach: “If you had really been my slave, I would have killed you.”

~~~

Jonathan (after garbling some quote): “Let me read that again, for my English speaking friends…”

~~~

Abby B (about an albino something or another): “He was like a living snowflake with eyes!”

~~~

Abby B: “No! You can’t have my hanger! I like it!”

Caitlin: “I thought you hated it!”

Abby B: “SHH!!!… I’m having mood swings.”

~~~

*Abby’s turn*

*long pause*

Abby: “Oh, my turn? My name is… um…”
me: “Are you SURE you don’t have amnesia?” (I had been teasing her about that all evening.)

Abby: “I do NOT! Um… I forget what church I go to…”

~~~

*practicing memory verses*

Rachel: “Faith in… Jesus Christ?”

Anna: “Who do you think?”

…

Rachel: “For to me to live is… to die?”

*laughter*

~~~

Jonathan (talking about the fiery furnace): “What did the king make?”

someone: “Chocolate bunnies!”

~~~

Benjamin (on losing Connect Four): “Oh bug. Oh bugger.”

Of course, with the accent it came out more like “Oh bug. Oh buggah.”

It was much quoted at camp. I like it.

~~~

And that was a tiny bit of it, but that all I have time for tonight.

Goodnight. :)